these marks are from my last stay at the mental health hospital. Aka: the
looney bin. (I can call it that- I’ve been FOUR times now… I’ve earned it.) These are the marks of a girl who had enough. she couldn’t survive it any longer with such pain inside her.. so she did what she needed to do. do I recommend this? ABSOLUTELY NOT. it is a very unhealthy coping mechanism I learned at the age of 15 (15+ years ago) and has crept back up in the last couple years. But at my most recent stay, I self harmed (no, i’m not going to tell you how) the day before I left. the doctors & nurses never knew- I made sure to wear long sleeves because I knew if they found out, I wouldn’t be going home anytime soon. but I should’ve told them. for the betterment of myself. I should’ve thought about what was best for ME in the situation && not worried so much about what was going on at home. but I didn’t. and I got out. & i’m not gonna lie- I’ve self harmed multiple times since. it’s my go-to, always.
These wounds will heal in time but my insides seem to never heal. one step forward, two steps back. most days I wonder how much longer i’ll make it… at this point I simply beg & pray to make it through today. && tomorrow will just have to worry about itself.
&& love always, Aimee